Y’all- I feel like all I’ve done this whole year is RUN! And I don’t mean recreationally- I’ve always wanted to be one of those people who can just work out all my frustrations on the pavement. I’m not. I do go to the gym in the mornings- but that’s just a desperate battle against the middle-agedness creeping up on me as I turned 40 this year!
I work a full time job 40 hours a week, am a Real Estate agent, and a full-time step-mom to two busy teenage girls. My family’s day consist of 14-16 hours of HECTIC! I know I’m not the only one out there- can I get an Amen?!! When I FINALLY roll into the bed at night- my brain is still in hyperdrive! I’m looking for the shut down button but my brain just laughs. I have several friends with this same problem. Not to mention the breakdown in immunity with all the exhaustion. That glass (or two) of wine at night to wind down? Doesn’t really help when you wake up at 2am making the run to the bathroom and then- *click* brain in full on “what do we have on the agenda today? What did I screw up yesterday? What’s for dinner tonight? Oh lord- why did I say that/do that? What do the girls need that I forgot- there’s probably ten things more I should have done yesterday… AARRGGHH!!!! How much longer can I survive on no sleep? Let’s google the longest anyone has ever went without a decent night’s rest. Oh while I’m on here- let’s do a little research on…. Boy that casserole looks good- what night this week are we home before 7? Do I have time to go to the grocery store on my lunch? Wait- What all errands am I doing on my lunch this week- I need to make a list and a plan… ” mode. Before I know it, it’s 4:30 and my alarm is going off to go to the gym- because 5 am is LITERALLY the only time I have to actually go to the gym!
Anyone want to raise their hands that this sounds familiar? And amidst all this- I REALLY REALLY want to instill good habits in my family and feed them healthy foods and keep them well. So how many superwomen out there feel me? And how many times a day do you just completely feel like you’re dropping the ball in at least one of the areas every day? Well let’s all just take a minute and pat ourselves on the back that we are SHOWING UP. Every day. We SHOW UP. We don’t pull the covers over our head and go back to sleep for “5 more minutes”. We drag our exhausted butts out of the warm, soft comfort of our bed and we pop the bread in the toaster, pack the pre-made lunchable that we just swore we wouldn’t do this week but dang, it was 8 pm last night before we were able to get to the store and whose brain is seriously still rolling at that time? We make sure the teenager’s hair is freshly curled while we spray dry shampoo in our mop for “one more day” (pretty sure I’m about 80% dry shampoo at this point) while we run out 30 minutes early to Walmart because he completely forgot that he had to have a 1 1/2 inch binder with colored tabs for his class today and was warned points would be taken off his agenda if he didn’t have it today. We SHOW UP. We feel like if we get ONE MORE eye roll that we are going to move to an island and live in a hut and lets see how they all survive after that?? We lose our minds when we walk in from a long day at work and the MICROWAVE DOOR is standing wide open in the kitchen along with all the trash from their lunchbox is sitting on the kitchen counter two whole feet from the trash can??? WHO LEAVES THE MICROWAVE DOOR OPEN????? What type of hooligans are we raising???
We Show Up. We fight the battles. We win some. We lose some. And no matter how much we feel like they will NEVER appreciate us- we all hold on to that single hope that all of our mother’s, grandmother’s and friends tell us… They know. They know how much we love them. They know how much we do for them. Even if they don’t show it now. One day. One day they will say Thank You. We hold onto that. And we Show Up.
Our houses are messier than we want. We sometimes forget to buy the healthy lunch we swore we would do better with this week. Their perfect outfit isn’t always washed.
In the end- the most important thing you can do for your family is to just Show Up. They won’t remember the details as much as you think. They’ll just remember you being there. So let’s all cut ourselves some slack on all the things we didn’t do this week- rub some lavender on your feet and lie down tonight with a little feeling of satisfaction that you were there today. You were present and you made a little impact somehow- because you were there.
